Wedding Afterthoughts

Pic by my cousin Jhack of A and I talking to friends near the end of our wedding reception

My friend Payi and I were talking about weddings on Viber yesterday and I ended up telling her some of the realizations that Aleq and I had after our wedding. I've actually been meaning to blog about it after that conversation with the hubby, but I totally forgot and only remembered yesterday. Here goes my ramblings.

People get married because they love each other and want to immortalize that in a lifelong commitment. Some people think getting things down on paper is an important part of it, while some think that they want to honor the person they love by saying their vows to each other in front of friends and family. Others however, don't think that way. They reason that love is enough, and there doesn't have to be a wedding to prove their love to each other. I say, to each his own. Everyone has their own views on love, weddings, and getting married. 

For me and my husband Aleq though, deciding to get married and have a wedding is one of the best decisions we ever made in our lives. True, weddings come with a lot of expenses and stress, but we have no regrets. We think that the planning, preparations, and the wedding itself was one of the best bonding experiences we've ever had as a couple. 

See, weddings require a lot of time, effort, thought, patience, and love. It took us a year to plan ours, and it wasn't easy. There were a lot of things to consider and decide on, so it was very easy to stress out and argue. The budget -- which nobody really admitted to us until it was so close to our wedding date and therefore too late -- really doubles the last few months before the wedding. The division of tasks can also cause strife, as the sheer enormity of the event can make it is easy for one to think the other person is doing less and vice versa. There are a lot of issues that arise during wedding preparations, including the involvement of friends and family. It can be tough. 

Aleq and I decided from the very start never to fight about the wedding. We reminded ourselves everyday to compromise. Arguments did happen. There were times when we were so tired from running all over town, or worried that the money was dwindling, or infuriated about family input, but somehow we never let it cause enough of a rift to make ourselves question getting married. We tried to remember everyday not to let what friends or family think or say cause us to doubt each other's decisions. It was our wedding, and only what we thought and felt mattered. We learned to trust that we could pull it off and to never give up on each other.

The enjoyable moments during prep overpowered all the negative ones. We had a lot of fun picking suppliers and deciding on what we wanted. We were excited about everything. We went to each and every bridal fair and supplier meeting together. We learned a lot about each other along the way -- how one deals with stress, how one likes certain things, so on and so forth. We found ourselves wanting to give each other what the other wanted. We had the time of our lives putting our wedding together. 

Then came the wedding itself. After a year of preparations, just seeing it all happen on top of finally getting married to the person we loved truly made it the happiest day of our lives. To finally reach the finish line and have all our loved ones there to celebrate with us was the best feeling ever. Each moment of that one happy day was like a jewel for us. 

In a way, a wedding is a project -- one of the biggest, most important projects you'll ever have in your lives. You have to go through it together. It's a trial by fire, and it takes a united couple to come out of the entire process unscathed. It's also a gem of an experience to be treasured forever. Aleq and I will always have this time in our lives to look back on and remind us of what we are made of as a couple. 

If you, dear reader, are already married, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're engaged right now, enjoy this time it to the hilt! If you are single and still wishing for the person of your dreams, remember this when you finally find the one. And if you, on the other hand, are in a relationship and thinking of getting married, we say go for it. It's a wonderful way to prepare you for a life together. It's a trying, but fantastic and unforgettable experience.